Last Updated on February 13, 2024 by Travelationship
An argument or two may inevitably arise when traveling with a partner or a group. There is nothing wrong with disagreeing or debating each other. It is how you each diffuse the heat that matters.
Matt and I have very different ways of handling stress. In some ways, we are exact opposites. For instance, he is eternally late, and I am anxiously early. To work around this, I tend to tell Matt to be ready 30-60 minutes before the real time needed. When I knew this method wouldn’t work, I begged and pleaded for several days before the event for him to be on time. Neither of these methods works 100% of the time, but we’ve come up with ways to help decrease the chance of a stressful situation.
Like any other relationship, Matt and I are a work in progress. Below are our favorite methods to help our relationship and travels move forward more pleasantly.
Heather’s Argument Diffusion Tactics
Take time for yourself. I am the type of person that needs time to myself. I need to have time to recharge and refocus without distractions. Matt is the opposite. He could spend 24/7 with me ALL the time. It was a challenge for Matt to understand this about me, but once he did and didn’t take it personally, it helped to avoid arguments. We have gotten to the point where Matt sometimes recognizes before I do when I need “me” time.
Breathe. Take a deep breath and let it out slowly. Do it more than once, if needed. Calm yourself before engaging in a heated argument.
Fight Fair. Don’t fight dirty or mean. Be realistic and reasonable in your communication. Most importantly, be transparent with your feelings. Don’t beat around the bush or expect your partner to guess what you need or want. Get to the point and offer solutions to help your partner fix the situation. Offering ways to resolve the issue helps to facilitate a compromise both parties can agree upon.
Hold Hands. Yes, it is as easy as that. If you want to one-up that, hold hands while making eye contact and conversing. Whoa!
Listen. Stop everything you are doing, look at your partner, and listen. Don’t interrupt.
Matt’s Attempts at Argument Diffusion
Check-In. Getting caught up in the moment and overlooking your partner’s feelings is too easy. For example, whenever someone introduces the idea of something as simple as a vacation, we all picture what it means to us. The key is ensuring you enjoy it equally, so think of Joey Tribbiani and ask, “How You Doin’?”
Have an open mind. There is a chance the argument you are having can’t be diffused because of some internal prejudice or predication. Some resolutions can only be achieved when you put all that aside, examine where the other person is coming from, and accept that the answer may lie in something you have never considered.
Keep it in perspective. In the heat of the moment, it is easy to feel like this is the biggest thing that has ever happened. Ask yourself, is it, though? Is this our defining moment? Chances are, if you answer yourself honestly, the answer will be No.
Call a Time-Out. Physical tension is all too common when tempers flare and only serves to fuel frustration. Ask for a quick time-out and grab a few deep, calming breaths. Once the mercury settles, you will be far better to continue the discussion.
Confirm the resolution. We all know that miscommunication is the cause of every argument. Don’t compound the issue by coming to a solution you don’t understand or are unsure of. Don’t be afraid to restate it in your own words and get confirmation.
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